One Gorgeous F*ing Smile

September 28th, 2014
 One Gorgeous F*ing Smile 
I suspect Ger might not wish to be identified with Alice’s dreamscape Chesire Cat
Whose grin so defined, that all but grin disappeared.
We sat in pairs in HTHSC typing class with Ger directly in front of me and my partner
And always, he stood up and greeted us with an unhurried, relaxed, beaming
And genuine smile
Warmly and happily
As if we weren’t in a child-processing plant
Where clocks were king
And every hour called us to order obedience and self-suffering
As if we were on the beach, on vacation, maybe in a different reality
And his invariable greeting was an effusive, “Hi Neighbors!”


Probably everybody has a love-hate relationship with facebook
Where some of our old friends appear to be having an easier, better, wilder, wealthier
Or happier time than we are
And Ger’s life of partying on the beach
His radiant smile sizzling up photo after photo
Non-stop sunshine, good times, friends
Was too much
For me
Single mom of four
Working working working
Squeezing in a night out, with limited funds once in a great while.
I unfollowed  him to ease my jealousy.


But Ger  messaged me to please come to a fundraiser
Something about ALS (what’s that?)
And as it isn’t terribly hard for me to make it over to Belom’s…


A few years ago, we partied together
And his smile, signature scarf and ease hadn’t changed a bit,
But now, he held onto a walker to stand, and when I greeted him
His facial muscles tried very hard to move his mouth to say “hi!”
But they couldn’t…
The party went on all day and night
And Ger
Welcomed every friend
With his same gracious effusive accepting and ever-comfortable spirit
Attired as always in neat fashionable Ger-style
with or without his muscles helping out,
Like the all-encompassing grin of Alice’s Chesire Cat
Gerry Estoque displayed and will always display
One gorgeous f*ing smile.

What is an American?

May 4th, 2014

What is an American?

An American isn’t well-educated.  Education, like everything else in America is related to money:  how much you have or don’t have.  Education in its true sense of the word, doesn’t matter to Americans; in fact, possessing a wide breadth of knowledge or being an intellectual of high caliber could be more of a detriment than a value.  An individual with a wonderfully rich mind could easily be overlooked or shunned if the wealth of knowledge isn’t somehow or another transformed into pocket wealth.

America is a monarchy and the Dollar sporting the all-seeing eye atop the pyramid is King.

The Look in Their Eyes: brief descript

July 5th, 2012
“The Look in Their Eyes” is a story about the existential connection
between the “look in their eyes”and the question of the meaning of
The Look is a look of Want.  It is primitive, in the sense that it’s
irrational and animal, even beast… It is a look that is in mens’ eyes in spite
of Civilization.  It isn’t civilized.  It contains madness and aggression.  It
is the look of selfishness and desire.  The “Want” is unsatisfiable.  No matter
how much the human male acquires of earthly gain:  how much money, how many
possessions, how many beautiful women… no matter the profit at the expense of
others… the Want will take,  the Want will kill…. the Want is something
unknown that comes from beyond the individual man… it is infinitely
The male “want look” causes woman to subconsciously desire to be
the acquisition that completes, answers, and fulfills the Unsatisfiable Need.
But the Want is never satisfied, the Object, Woman, is never enough.
this absence of resolution parallells the absence of answerability of
the question of the meaning of existence

response to Henry Giroux’s clear-eyed take on today’s American far-right-ism

June 7th, 2012


June 5, 2012:  lilyfield says:

I read this article and liked it very much.  I think ‘fundamentalism’ is a good description of the extremist mentality of America’s government and society these days.  It is so strange to be in the midst of a society that seems so needlessly cruel in so many different areas — in particular the prison system (and children are being incarcerated at a vastly accelerated rate, also being held in solitary confinement, also put into adult prisons), and the “wars” (quotes because if you ask any American why we are in Iraq, Afghanistan… they are confused and stutter helplessly!!)

Maybe we were always very cruel – but these days, school are like little prisons (not the schools of the privileged) with kids being searched, watched, drug-tested, harrassed by police at school, taken off from school to junior prisons for any little infraction.  Young people are arrested and put in prison for “suspicion of belonging to a gang”.  Lately there were 2 separate incidents of 6-year-olds being handcuffed in kindergarten class and taken off to the the police station!!   people accept this!!  is that strange????

In his many books and articles, Henry Giroux addresses today’s social realities regarding American children with a great deal of insight, including the idea that America considers entire groups of people, “disposable” — mostly the poor black population (witness apathetic government response to Hurricane Katrina’s human wreckage) which comprise large urban ghettoes in every city, but also working class kids!!  Large groups of these populations live their lives within the ever-expanding prison/probation system (& for-profit prison is now a rising industry!)