One Gorgeous F*ing Smile

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 One Gorgeous F*ing Smile 
I suspect Ger might not wish to be identified with Alice’s dreamscape Chesire Cat
Whose grin so defined, that all but grin disappeared.
We sat in pairs in HTHSC typing class with Ger directly in front of me and my partner
And always, he stood up and greeted us with an unhurried, relaxed, beaming
And genuine smile
Warmly and happily
As if we weren’t in a child-processing plant
Where clocks were king
And every hour called us to order obedience and self-suffering
As if we were on the beach, on vacation, maybe in a different reality
And his invariable greeting was an effusive, “Hi Neighbors!”


Probably everybody has a love-hate relationship with facebook
Where some of our old friends appear to be having an easier, better, wilder, wealthier
Or happier time than we are
And Ger’s life of partying on the beach
His radiant smile sizzling up photo after photo
Non-stop sunshine, good times, friends
Was too much
For me
Single mom of four
Working working working
Squeezing in a night out, with limited funds once in a great while.
I unfollowed  him to ease my jealousy.


But Ger  messaged me to please come to a fundraiser
Something about ALS (what’s that?)
And as it isn’t terribly hard for me to make it over to Belom’s…


A few years ago, we partied together
And his smile, signature scarf and ease hadn’t changed a bit,
But now, he held onto a walker to stand, and when I greeted him
His facial muscles tried very hard to move his mouth to say “hi!”
But they couldn’t…
The party went on all day and night
And Ger
Welcomed every friend
With his same gracious effusive accepting and ever-comfortable spirit
Attired as always in neat fashionable Ger-style
with or without his muscles helping out,
Like the all-encompassing grin of Alice’s Chesire Cat
Gerry Estoque displayed and will always display
One gorgeous f*ing smile.
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2 Responses to One Gorgeous F*ing Smile

  1. John Kelleher says:

    I just read your lovely and affectionate verse for Ger. I did not know him, but your words give me a sense of who he is and was. As I read, I was listening to the closing theme music for a documentary about Sergio Vieira de Mello, the slain United Nations worker who died in the embassy in Iraq. The sad melody combined with your sweet words caught me by surprise, wishing I had met the man of your remembrance and the UN envoy, whose efforts and caring led him to his demise. Smile, indeed!

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