…and speaking of women, and thinking of women and identifying myself more and more with this half of the species….
I’ve been a little girl, a teenage girl, a college girl… a woman living with a boyfriend who became abusive, a young single woman struggling for place and identity in the Chicago work force… a wife, a mother of 4, an unhappily married woman, an ‘adulteress’, a ‘separated’ woman (divorce being too complicated…still)…. a wild lover and adorer of a manly man who became abusive…..
I’ve been thinking ’bout women. About being a woman. About woman’s place and woman’s experience in this world, this day and age, in American society, in other places…about my own particular struggles due to being a woman, about my own experience thus far… about being a woman writer… about all the woman writers whose work I’ve felt passionate about…about woman artists, woman filmmakers…about comparing myself as a writer to male writers…
I’ve been thinking ’bout abuse. About ‘domestic’ abuse. Woman being victimized by men in the home, or in a relationship, in society…. here in America… and elsewhere in this world
I’m thinking about Simone deBeauvoir’s insistently repeated, almost existential focus in “The Second Sex” of the objectification of woman by man…about my own transition at a young age from autonomy to division; how I went from feeling myself very autonomous to awareness of myself as an Object of attention and desire — (and, conversely, perverse repressed animosity) – and then, in addition, to my own manipulativeness of those palpable waves of human want.
I’m thinking about woman as object for men. How men’s desire coupled with society and economics turns woman into a thing to be bought, a thing to be paid for, a thing to show off, a Thing….
And in the case of abuse, again, there is a projection of man’s own division onto the woman, wherein she becomes object again, in this case of his projected unresolved repressed disturbances.
I’m thinking ’bout war. About women’s real place in war. About men making war. About men’s power and dominance and their drive to power, their drive to dominance. About the misuses and abuses exacted when their stature, status or prestige is threatened or even simply in the maintenance thereof.
I’m thinking about motherhood. About the biological shift within woman when she becomes mother. About her fierce love and attachment to her children.
I’m thinking about women’s sexuality. About the traditional ‘either wife or prostitute’. I’m thinking about her more recent sexual ‘liberation’… about the way she’s looked at nowadays by men, by woman. I’m thinking about abortion….I’m thinking about monogomy… about marriage…about repression…about confinement…about freedom…about enlightenment…about evolution… about eventualities and possibilities
I’m thinking ’bout Woman.