It all boils down to one thing really.
You will discover, in every single case of misery, whether the misery is found in the child, the spouse, the group, the business or enterprise, the institution or the nation; somebody is over-controlling somebody else, unnecessarily may I add.
Being overcontrolling is a human tendency. We don’t see other living things in nature suffering and making others miserable on account of individual animals or plants exercising dominance due to feeling threatened or envious or lacking or fearful about living or having enough — or trying to maintain prestige!
To some extent this human tendency to be dominating and to be in control, seems to be related to our fear of death. It seems to me that our awareness of imminent death coupled with our feeling that we will then be totally annhilated coupled with our own evolutionary, hard to argue with feeling that we alone inhabit our body and therefore it is ‘me against the world’, all combine to make us feel threatened in general. And it’s not a surfacy feeling, the roots of insecurity go deep.
By contrast, through spiritual work such as meditation, the fear of death can be eased and even overcome. When a person accepts and lives in awareness of, the truly short-lived, temporal nature of Everything, including us! and the person also lives in awareness of the beauty of Everything, including us! and the person also comes to realize the magical nature of Love, permeating Everything!, thru the awareness of which, the ugliness of fear and behavior which is generated from fear also become more apparent – when a person gains that ‘spiritual’ perspective, the need to control anything at all dwindles and finally disappears.
Control and Power go hand in hand of course. Together, they create misery. Whether control & power are exercised in the home, in the group, in the nation, or in the world they generate misery. Nobody benefits. The Controller is operating out of a need to feel powerful, to feel ‘in control’, to preserve its own prestige (standing or estimation in the eyes of people). Whoever is on the receiving end is miserable on a scale that can range from discomfort to torture.
When we look at contemporary world history, the story of US, we see one group after the next exercising force to gain power and control over some other group. Even though in our individual hearts, we generally believe killing is wrong, we see nothing but killing on a scale that increases over time. One has to wonder, what’s wrong with US?
I venture to say, because we humans are in the perceived vulnerable position of being extremely temporal, like a flame; while simultaneously perceiving ourselves to be All, that to die is to be extinguished, we feel Terrified. On all sides there is the lurking unknown abyss; mysterious infinite outer space above and below, inside, infinite inner space, unknown.